Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
