CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
