There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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