Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
