Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize