I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
