I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
