we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
