I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My feet surprised me
Randomize
