is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
