I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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