How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
