You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
