Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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