I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
