Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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