remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
