I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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