Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
