I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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