Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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