she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
