Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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