She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
