i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I have post one night stand depression
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
