So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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