from now on my penis is your penis
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
