when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
