ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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