You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
