9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just gift wrapped bread.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
