I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
