I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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