College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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