hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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