wakey wakey hands off snakey
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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