Your face is a jimmy john
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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