It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
