i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize