There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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