If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
