This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
