the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
