My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
