You really coming over, don't trick.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
