When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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