i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
