I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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