Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize