He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
