True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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