Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
