just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
