In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
