what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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