yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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