You can't special order awesome
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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