I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
