he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
