Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
