Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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