dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
